The great Greek philosopher Seneca has famously said “We suffer more in imagination than in reality”, and though this saying is about 2000 years old, it applies with full force to the lives of modern people. Indeed, we live in times when stress, anxiety, worry, and self-doubt are constantly with us, following us through our day, always ready to remind us of something we could have done better, something important and urgent that we’ve forgotten, or something in the future that we may not be able to handle.
Maybe it’s because life today is more complex and multi-faceted than in the past or because the many forms of media around us have conditioned our minds in this way. Maybe it’s a bit of both, in combination with a number of other factors. Ultimately, the thing that matters most is for us to acknowledge the effects that stress and anxiety can have on our lives and take informed and rational steps to tackle those mental challenges. Otherwise, if we aren’t able to keep our own emotions in check, this will surely reflect upon our day-to-day lives and on our relationships with other people.
Being overly-stressed or anxious can lead to irrational or unsocial behavior and even alienate you from the people closest to you. I am sure everybody has had those moments where they have angrily lashed out at or have treated a close person with cold indifference due to feeling too stressed at the moment to behave in any other way. And this is only one example of the myriad of problems that could come from lacking the ability to keep your stress and anxiety in check. Don’t get me wrong, controlling your emotions, especially while under pressure, can be one of the most difficult things, but that is also why it’s so important to learn how to do it.
How stress and anxiety cripple you
Before we blindly condemn stress and anxiety as things that are bad for us, we should first take a step back and examine them for what they truly are. In reality, stress is a natural response to a heightened physical and/or mental demand caused by a certain situation. It is basically our body’s and brain’s way of preparing us for an upcoming challenge or a challenging situation that’s already underway.
Anxiety is similar to stress, but while excessive stress usually lasts for a short amount of time - until the challenging situation is resolved - anxiety is typically persistent and may not always be caused by a specific stressor. If, for example, you are commonly under a lot of stress, you may develop an anxiety disorder that causes you to feel anxious even when there isn’t an immediate challenge or threat.
Both of those sensations can be debilitating and rob you of your ability to gain any enjoyment from your life. Instead, they force your mind and body to constantly be on a high alert mode, even when there’s no objective need for this. Being in such a state for a prolonged period of time is both mentally and physically exhausting and can make it really difficult for you to function normally. Everyday tasks, such as going to work, doing the laundry, or even brushing your teeth in the morning, can feel Herculean and demand every last ounce of willpower that you have. Needless to say, this is not a sustainable way of going about your life. Not only is it a miserable experience, but it can put a lot of strain on both your personal and professional relationships, not to mention that it can also affect your physical and mental health.
Because of all this, it is necessary to find effective, healthy, and sustainable ways of dealing with your stress and anxiety. Make no mistake - this won’t be easy in any way, but that is precisely why you must put your best foot forward when doing it.
Practical advice on handling stress and lowering anxiety
When it comes to dealing with complex feelings such as anxiety and stress, it’s best to take a practical approach and follow simple and easy to understand steps. The following practical tips are several examples of such steps. While they may seem clichéd, there’s a reason they are so often recommended when talking about handling stress and anxiety. The truly tricky part is to actually stick with them and be consistent. But trust me, if you are able to persist, you’ll eventually start seeing a slow, yet steady improvement in all aspects of your life.
Physical activity
I cannot overstate how important it is to be physically active. After moderate or intense physical activity, your brain releases dopamine, which feels tons better than the dopamine released from food, alcohol, or drugs, because your brain knows that you’ve “earned” it. Also, regular exercise helps you stay healthy and in shape, which, in turn, affects you psychologically, by boosting your confidence and lowering your anxiety and stress.
Hobbies
Obviously, hobbies can make you feel better and relieve your stress, but here I must say that not all hobbies are equal. It’s important to have a hobby that’s not only pleasurable, but that’s also fulfilling, and helps you develop new skills, learn new things, and ultimately grow and improve in a certain area. Also, having a hobby is a great way to meet like-minded people and thus expand your social circle, which can also help reduce your anxiety and stress.
The word “No”
Have you ever heard the saying that “No.” is a full sentence? Either way, you should think about it now. People, especially ones with high levels of agreeableness, often have a hard time saying “No” even when they know that it is the right answer. However, it’s one thing to want to be helpful to those around you and a whole other thing to be used as the boy/girl for everything. You need to have defined borders about the things you are willing to do for others, and once someone crosses those borders, you should respectfully, but firmly, let them know and then refuse their request. If you do this, I guarantee you that some of your stress and anxiety will go away over time.
Prioritizing
And we finally come to the elusive skill of being good at prioritizing. It may sound like a simple thing that everybody should be able to do, but it really isn’t. The reason is that we tend to have so much on our minds these days that it often becomes difficult to put everything in order of importance. However, if you zoom out for a moment and try to make a list or a tier list of your priorities, this will make it that much easier to organize your time, ultimately taking away a lot of the anxiety and stress that comes from always having at least five more urgent items on your to-do list.